Spoof News: Bull Wanders into Irish Pub, Doesn’t Give It a Rave Review
By GAIL FARRELLY

Hezi Aris Archives 11 Comments

Gail Farrelly grew up in The Bronx and now resides in Bronxville, NY. Having a doctorate in accounting from George Washington University, she's taught in several universities and published numerous articles in business and academic journals. Learning about the murderous politics of academic life turned her mind to crime. The fictional kind, of course! Her first mystery, "Beaned In Boston," in which a lecherous professor perishes even though he was well published, was named to the Washington Irving Book Selection List. Her short story, "Even Steven," was nominated for a Derringer Award. Gail writes spoofs for the Yonkers Tribune Webaper, YonkersTribune.com, and for a British website, TheSpoof.com. Gail shares a website, http://www.farrellysistersonline.com/, with her sister Rita, also a mystery writer.

Gail Farrelly grew up in The Bronx and now resides in Bronxville, NY. Having a doctorate in accounting from George Washington University, she’s taught in several universities and published numerous articles in business and academic journals. Learning about the murderous politics of academic life turned her mind to crime. The fictional kind, of course! Her first mystery, “Beaned In Boston,” in which a lecherous professor perishes even though he was well published, was named to the Washington Irving Book Selection List. Her short story, “Even Steven,” was nominated for a Derringer Award. Gail writes spoofs for the Yonkers Tribune Webpaper, and for a British website, TheSpoof.com. Gail shares a website, http://www.farrellysistersonline.com/, with her sister Rita, also a mystery writer.

 

The sign on the door of a pub in County Cavan reads “A Thousand Welcomes,” but a bull who stopped there for a pint after a long day of grazing claims it’s false advertising. “I didn’t even receive ONE welcome,” he whined.

The bartender claimed he didn’t serve him because he wasn’t of drinking age, but the bull’s not buying it. “That’s nothing but a lot of bull,” he said.

The bull has told friends it wasn’t his kind of place anyway. The customers scattered far and wide when he entered their midst; not a friendly face in sight. “You’d think I was from Pamplona or something,” he complained.

When he went to visit the restroom, he found it locked. The bartender refused to give him the key, claiming it was closed for its DAILY cleaning. “More bull,” the bull said, adding, “Whoever heard of a pub restroom being cleaned on a daily basis, if at all?”

And it annoyed him that one corner of the pub was set up for a game of darts, dominated by a huge bullseye at the center of the dartboard. This was accompanied by a sign, Hit the bullseye and get a free pint. “Quite politically incorrect in this day and age,” the bull reported, holding his head up high and blinking his large, gorgeous dark eyes.

The bull has confided to friends, “I won’t be going back there, that’s for sure. But there’s a nice china shop next door that I’ll visit when I’m in the mood for a little browse and a nice cuppa.”
THE END
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“Bull Wanders into Irish Pub, Doesn’t Give It a Rave Review BY GAIL FARRELLY” was originally published on The Spoof – Tuesday, 18 October 2011.
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Gail Farrelly (Twitter: @gailfarrelly) writes mystery novels and short stories. She publishes satire at The Spoof ( http://is.gd/ZjsZuy). Her short stories are sold at Untreed Reads (http://is.gd/9uwEfO), on the Amazon Kindle, at iBooks, and at many other ebook vendors worldwide. She shares a website, www.farrellysistersonline.com, with her sister, Rita Farrelly, author of the local best seller, NOT IN BRONXVILLE: A SUBURBAN MYSTERY NOVEL. Gail is working on another mystery novel and also a book of spoofs.

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Hezi ArisSpoof News: Bull Wanders into Irish Pub, Doesn’t Give It a Rave Review
By GAIL FARRELLY

Comments 11

  1. Dahli Gray

    Reading the story this morning started me off with a smile. This is a great way to start or end a day. Gail Farrelly stories always meet and/or exceed my high expectations. Dahli

  2. Fake News

    I read this article over and over. Each time I felt so sorry for the bull. But then suddenly it hit me, “wait a minute” I said aloud, BULLS CAN’T TALK! I realized that what the writer was saying happened was unbullievable and impossibull! Great story though but clearly a fabull.

  3. Mary Ellen Lawler

    I enjoyed the story but that is not unusual when I’m reading the work of Miss Farrelly.
    I’m looking forward to the book she is working on.

  4. Gail Farrelly

    To Mary Ellen, Mary, Jacquie, and Lorna,

    Thank you so much for taking time out of your St. Patrick’s Day to read, and comment on, my spoof. I appreciate it very much.

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