As reported by scientists, the iceberg is heading south. What hasn't been reported is that it's packed with a horde of noisy revelers. Not just plain old revelers. No, these are readers of TheSpoof.com who heard that the iceberg was about to "head on out" from the Greenland glacier, so they decided to hop aboard for a free and relaxing cruise.
Apparently the cruisers are delighted with their choice. The no-cost price is right, it's cool and roomy, the scenery is fantastic, and there's plenty of ice for their drinks.
There's a sad side to the story, however. Apparently these people are members of Spoof Readers Anonymous, an association of folks who've lost their friends, jobs, and families because of excessive reading of spoofs. As one emailed from the iceberg to a Spoof reporter on land, "We have constant onboard meetings to deal with our addiction, but for some of us it's a slow go. We're all in the same boat — literally. I mean, the meetings start with that familiar refrain from reader after reader: My name is X, and I'm a Spoofaholic. Then the tales come and they are startlingly similar. You start by reading only the headline stories, but you move on to others. Then there's the Spoof Archive, Snippets, Jokes, and so on. Pretty soon you're so wrapped up in it, you have no life.
The Spoof reporter wanted to email some questions to his contact aboard the iceberg. Unfortunately, the contact apologized but said he had no time to answer questions. He hadn't read any spoofs in an hour and was in desperate need of an immediate fix of spoof fare.
Gail Farrelly is the author of three mystery novels. The latest is "Creamed at Commencement: A Graduation Mystery." One of her short stories is published online: "Get Yourself a Face" (about a Mafia princess who buys herself a face transplant and a lot of trouble). Her story "Even Steven" was a finalist in the 2007 Derringer Award competition.