Sunday, 29 August 2010
He's movin' on out of NYC.
Yep, that's right. Three of 'em. One was an alligator; the second, a lizard; the third, an iguana.
The alligator was caught after supposedly hiding under a Datsun in Queens. But that wasn't the whole story. To get the scoop for The Spoof readers, reporter Gail Farrelly headed to the animal shelter where the gator had been taken. She was able to get a one-on-one interview.
"I was just doing an underbelly check of the Datsun when somebody spotted me and started screaming," said the alligator. "Good grief, you'd think I was a massive, hulking creature. I'm only 14 inches long and not even a year old, for Pete's sake."
The gator confided to Farrelly that his immediate plans include taking in a few movies and Broadway shows. "I just love bedbugs," he said, "and I'm told that NY theaters are the best places to find tons of them to chomp on."
When Farrelly asked him if he planned to make NYC his home, the gator shivered and gave out with a little yelp. "Are you crazy?" he replied. "Live in NYC? No way. It's a jungle out there."
Gail Farrelly is the author of three mystery novels. The latest is "Creamed at Commencement: A Graduation Mystery." One of her short stories is published online: "Get Yourself a Face" (about a Mafia princess who buys herself a face transplant and a lot of trouble). Her story "Even Steven" was a finalist in the 2007 Derringer Award competition.