The Rogue Gallery: Why Bigfoot Hides – Was That The Name Game – Part IV

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Why Bigfoot Hides: The Name Game – Part IV

ICYMI: Read “The Rogue Gallery: Cartoon Characters Squawk at NYC Press Conference – Part I”

ICYMI: Read “The Rogue Gallery: Minnie Mouse Arrested in NYC’s Times Square – Part II“

ICYMI: Read: “Ebenezer Scrooge to Change his Name – Part III

Why Bigfoot Hides: The Name Game – Part IV

Gail Farrelly grew up in The Bronx and now resides in Bronxville, NY. Having a doctorate in accounting from George Washington University, she’s taught in several universities and published numerous articles in business and academic journals. Learning about the murderous politics of academic life turned her mind to crime. The fictional kind, of course! Her first mystery, “Beaned In Boston,” in which a lecherous professor perishes even though he was well published, was named to the Washington Irving Book Selection List. Her short story, “Even Steven,” was nominated for a Derringer Award. Gail writes spoofs for the Yonkers Tribune Webaper,, and for a British website, Gail shares a website,, with her sister Rita, also a mystery writer.

Is he shy? Too busy to engage with others? Fearful of capture?

The surprising answer is: None of the above. Bigfoot has been in touch with a Spoof reporter, explaining for the first time why he is in hiding.

It started with a simple text from Bigfoot, otherwise known as Sasquatch, to the offices of The Spoof. The text read as follows: “I h8t my name. Need a better one B4 I come out.”

After this, there was quite a bit of email correspondence between Bigfoot and a Spoof reporter. Here’s the skinny.

Bigfoot is insulted. He feels that the name Bigfoot is politically incorrect. In an email, he wrote, “Who else on the planet is saddled with an insulting name like that? It’s bullying, plain and simple. Besides, there are a lot of politicians running around who would better wear the label of Bigfoot.”

And as for his other name, Sasquatch? He considers that almost as bad. According to his email, Bigfoot’s view is: “It sounds like a squash gone wrong. Y’know a squished squash. Whatever.”

The reporter reminded Bigfoot of Shakespeare’s famous quote “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Bigfoot’s response? “Hogwash. Let Shakespeare go around with a name like mine for a while, then we’ll talk.”

Okay, then. Scientists need a new plan. Instead of setting up DNA tests related to possible sightings of Bigfoot, perhaps they should be working on finding him a new name — and planning a christening ceremony.

“Is there an app for that?” Bigfoot wants to know.


They eDone Him Wrong By Gail Farrelly, The Killer Wore Cranberry: A Second Helping By Gail Farrelly,, The Christmas Exception,, Creamed at Commencement: A Graduation Mystery,,

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eHeziThe Rogue Gallery: Why Bigfoot Hides – Was That The Name Game – Part IV

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