Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge
By GALE FARRELLY

Gail Farrelly Book Reviews, Bronxville, Community, National, New York State, Westchester County, NY 4 Comments

In Case You Missed It:

Article I – https://www.yonkerstribune.com/2018/12/santa-claus-may-have-cheated-on-the-missus-by-gale-farrelly 

Article II – https://www.yonkerstribune.com/2018/12/santas-workshop-to-be-a-public-corporation-by-gale-farrelly 

 

 Article III 

Merry Christmas! To add to the joy of the season, starting December 15th, the Yonkers Tribune began publishing a series of five fun Christmas spoofs penned by Gale Farrelly. This is Article III, dated December 19th. One every other day, leading up to the big day. Of course Santa Claus is in each one. Who else?

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Gail Farrelly grew up in The Bronx and now resides in Bronxville, NY. Having a doctorate in accounting from George Washington University, she’s taught in several universities and published numerous articles in business and academic journals. Learning about the murderous politics of academic life turned her mind to crime. The fictional kind, of course! Her first mystery, “Beaned In Boston,” in which a lecherous professor perishes even though he was well published, was named to the Washington Irving Book Selection List. Her short story, “Even Steven,” was nominated for a Derringer Award. Gail writes spoofs for the Yonkers Tribune Webaper, https://YonkersTribune.com, and for a British website, TheSpoof.com. Gail shares a website, http://www.farrellysistersonline.com/, with her sister Rita, also a mystery writer.

Ebenezer Scrooge is the protagonist of Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella, A Christmas Carol. At the beginning of the novella, Scrooge is a cold-hearted miser who despises Christmas. Dickens describes him thus: “The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice.”

A pox on their house,” was the reaction of Mr. Claus when he found out he wouldn’t be hired by one Midwestern town in the U. S. this year. He controlled his language in consideration of Mrs. Claus, who was standing at his side when he got the news. However, according to the elves (they have big ears, y’know!), Santa DID mutter a few obscenities, just under his breath. 

Later he commented: “Budget problems? Gimme a break. Whoever heard of a town that couldn’t afford Christmas? Where are their priorities, for Pete’s sake?”

Those who made this decision had better watch out. Their names have been added to Santa’s naughty list. On Christmas morning, they’ll be finding stockings that are totally empty. “Not even a piece of coal will be there,” Santa said, continuing, “coal could give them a couple of hours of nice warm heat; they don’t even deserve THAT.” 

A bitter Santa insists Ebenezer Scrooge is behind the scheme to make him jobless. “I never did believe all that hogwash about his miracle transformation,” Santa said. “He bought a big goose and gave out a couple of presents, thinking he could redeem himself. No way. He’s still the same obnoxious grouch he always was, and now he’s denying me a job.”

Late word is that Santa has hired an attorney and is thinking of suing. He feels he may have been discriminated against because of his size or his age. 

Meanwhile, Mr. Claus is seeing a psychologist to deal with issues related to a loss of self-esteem.

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Article IV – https://www.yonkerstribune.com/2018/12/she-saw-mommy-kissing-santa-claus-and-she-whipped-into-action-by-gale-farrelly

 

Gail FarrellySanta Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge
By GALE FARRELLY

Comments 4

  1. After centuries of having a monopoly, Santa is getting a course in Free Enterprise 101. (Wait’ll he gets to the 2xx courses!)

    Ken M.

  2. Scrooge had better watch out, get ready to cry, become used to a pout, I am telling you why…
    Why, because after reading, the Tribune’s, “Blue Truth Revelations of Misconduct in Pelham Manor Proves Size Doesn’t Matter!,” it is obvious that one may file a law suit against another, if they believe the second party is, “behind the scheme to make him jobless.”
    The Ghost of Christmas Present had better advise EB to lawyer up, prepare to waste years of his life, and drop more than a goose or two on the upcoming frivolous battle.
    My guess is that if the Pelham Manor Chief of Police, Al Mosiello who was caught red handed sending racist emails, and asked to resign, is able to sue the person, who brought forth the evidence, then Santa should easily be able to find an attorney on the naughty list to represent him.
    Special note to EB. Keep a weather eye out for elves. They are notorious for spreading misinformation and rumors, and Santa is family.

  3. The notion of being discriminated against due to size or age is a real issue in the real world. So often humor is based in reality. Gail has just the right touch to cover issues of concern in a way that both draws attention to issues while presenting them in a humorous context. I can hardly wait for the next installment of the series. Dahli

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