Santa’s Workshop to Be a Public Corporation

eHezi Arts & Entertainment, Book Reviews, Bronxville, Community, Finance, History, International, National, New York State, People, Westchester County, NY 5 Comments

In Case You Missed It:

Article I – 

    Article II

Santa Clause’s presence during the last weeks in December have been shown to bring about a rally during year’s end. This phenomena is known as the Santa Claus Rally. Can a Santa Claus IPO be far behind?

Merry Christmas! To add to the joy of the season, starting December 15th, the Yonkers Tribune began publishing a series of five fun Christmas spoofs penned by Gale Farrelly. This is Article II, dated December 17th. One every other day, leading up to the big day. Of course Santa Claus is in each one. Who else?

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Gail Farrelly grew up in The Bronx and now resides in Bronxville, NY. Having a doctorate in accounting from George Washington University, she’s taught in several universities and published numerous articles in business and academic journals. Learning about the murderous politics of academic life turned her mind to crime. The fictional kind, of course! Her first mystery, “Beaned In Boston,” in which a lecherous professor perishes even though he was well published, was named to the Washington Irving Book Selection List. Her short story, “Even Steven,” was nominated for a Derringer Award. Gail writes spoofs for the Yonkers Tribune Webaper,, and for a British website, Gail shares a website,, with her sister Rita, also a mystery writer.

Elves Furious; Everybody’s doin’ it. 

Going public, that is. It’s the rage these days. So Santa Claus figured: why not? 

Soon there’ll be an IPO (initial public offering) of stock in Santa’s workshop. 

Santa’s elves are furious. They know that once the Wall Streeters take control, change will be in the works. The elves are bristling at the rumor that little people will no longer be high-priority as far as employment goes. Following the rules of Affirmative Action, people of all sizes and shapes will now be equally considered for jobs. Phooey, say the elves, pointing out that big folks will take up too much room in Santa’s workshop and will inadvertently break some favorite creations. One elf complained, “The next thing you know, Bigfoot will be lumbering in and wanting a job here. Ridiculous.” 

Santa’s Christmas Eve trip around the world is a thing of the past. “Too risky,” claim the insurers. Instead, local delivery services will be used. “Right, and we all know how reliable they are,” sniffed Mrs. Claus, with a tear in her eye. 

Oh, and on the subject of insurance, Rudolph’s red nose and Frosty the Snowman’s corncob pipe have been insured by Lloyd’s of London. 

Production in the workshop is way behind schedule, one elf reports, as Santa is spending an inordinate amount of time planning for his trip to New York City to ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.   

Just in case you’re wondering, it won’t be the usual staid bell. In keeping with the season, Santa will be using jingle bells to announce the opening of the NYSE on that day. 

And he’ll be wearing a brand-new, red pinstriped suit!

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Article III – 

eHeziSanta’s Workshop to Be a Public Corporation

Comments 5

  1. Going public? Goodbye elves, hello automated production machines. Goodbye reindeer, hello Lear jet. Hello Lear jet, goodbye visits to neighborhoods that don’t have streets long enough to land on. Times they are a-changin’.

    Ken M.

    1. Mary Ellen,

      I agree. Hopefully Santa WILL come to his senses. The financial markets are SO crazy. I appreciate your reading and commenting. Cheers, Gail

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