YONKERS, WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NY — August 29, 2022 — Let me start by telling you how these stories came to be.
I like to take the B-Line Bus to work it helps the climate and is quite economical, especially since the bus is free this summer. I take the 6 Bus, which lets me off close to the Dobbs Diner. I like to have an egg sandwich before work.
It was an unusually hot July day and the air conditioning on the bus was not working that morning. The bus was dirty, and masks were strewn about the floor, but a free ride is a free ride. I took a wet wipe out of my pocket and brushed the papers aside to clean the seat. Underneath a paper called “Plume Libre” was what appeared to be a screen play called “Politics on the Hudson: An eight-part teleplay.” This was an enthralling fantasy that takes place in a fictitious hamlet called Yonkers on the Hudson. So, you see, I can’t take credit for this narrative, I am plagiarizing the art of an imaginative mind, but the stories are engrossing, and I just must share it with you.
These are the political adventures of an inept town council, a strong mayor, and some minor elected officials from around the fictitious town of Yonkers on the Hudson.
The barrel-chested mayor is named Mario Soprano. Mario is a likeable guy and everyone’s friend. The head of the Soprano political family is Vic Soprano. Vic is the strategist; the elder statesman who can play on other’s desires. Then there is Sonny Soprano. He is also the town clerk and Soprano family muscle. He’s the guy that flawlessly executes Vic’s plans.
Yonkers on the Hudson has a town council that is supposed to act as a legislative body. The chair of the council is Tisha Rollins. She was recently elected with the help of Sonny. The Majority Leader is named Christmas Day. She was only installed as majority leader because she can be easily manipulated. She has never held formal employment but has managed to live off the teat of public assistance; all while voting against the interest of those like her.
The Minority Leader is named Mickey Green and he’s been Mario’s lackey for two decades. Green is known as the do-nothing councilman since he “waited his turn” to be on the town council. Green has a shrewd wife, Sally. Sally is as clever as Vic and twice as ruthless. She’s the driving force behind Green’s ambition. Green has a weakness for frankfurters, which explains his portly figure. In fact, one of his failed businesses was a frankfurter shop. If you wonder why I am focusing so much on Green, our first story revolves around Green and Assemblyman Nadir Goldsmith. More on Nadir later.
Jim Tubo is a freshman councilman who believes he has been tapped to be Mario’s successor. Jim doesn’t have the capacity to keep the organization together. He’s a tall lanky young man with a toothy grin and questionable hygiene. He’s going nowhere fast.
Clara deDescanso was a rising star but she proved to be less gullible than Christmas Day. She was popular among her constituents, so she needed to be put in her place. Clara’s sister is employed by the Sopranos. Vic hopes this keeps her in line. She is on a bit of a pause until the next election, which for her could be mayor. That scares the Sopranos.
Aldo Morelli is an outsider on the town council. His regular profession is that of an insurance actuator and he has a personality to match. Think Joe Pesci’s Cousin Vinny meets Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone. Morelli is an unknown and the Sopranos don’t trust him. Even Green is suspicious of Morelli. Green even approached Conservative Chairman Lou Wolf to take Morelli out. Wolf was unsuccessful.
Shanequa Thomas is the valley girl of the council. She is a cross between Countess Vaughn and Paris Hilton. She has a heart of gold, but no idea of what day it is. She has even been known to get lost on the way to council chambers. Sonny is able to keep her in line with candle light dinners, flowers, and midnight rendezvous.
Our first episode focuses on Nadir Goldsmith. Nadir is a first-time assemblyman whose principles are written in jello. Nadir’s convictions are as solid as a snow cone in July. He’s had more flip flops than Tibbett’s Brook Pool on opening day.
Mickey Green is in his last term. His last few business ventures have failed miserably, but Mickey has managed to stay on the council with the help of Vic Soprano. Mickey has never had a real opponent. Sally can’t have Mickey sitting around the house next year.
Sally tells Vic, “Mickey is ready to be in the assembly.”
“That’s not a good idea.” replies Vic, “Mickey is not up to the task and he doesn’t do the family any good in Albany.”
Sally knows Mickey needs a job, but he has not succeeded in anything in all of his 62 years, so they challenge Nadir anyway.
It’s been six months since Sally and Vic spoke and it seems that Nadir is as popular as ever. He talks out of both sides of his moth making promises he can’t possibly keep. Sally needs to talk with Vic again.
“Listen Vic”, Sally declares, “Mickey needs work. I tell you what. Mickey will run, no walk it in. That guarantees your man, Nadir is elected, but you need to give Mickey a job next year.”
Vic responds, “I don’t know what Mickey can do. He can’t even get to the fourth floor without the elevator. He was useful on the council.”
“Ok, Mickey will put the kibosh on term limits and guarantee the council goes along. Tisha Rollins, Christmas Day, and Jim Tubo are already guaranteed votes, but we can’t deliver Shanequa, Aldo and Clara.” was Sally’s reply.
“Get me Aldo and you got a deal, “was the retort of Soprano.
Next episode will detail the behind the scenes wheeling and dealing. Will Green be able to turn Morelli or will he need to trick Thomas with a shiny object.
This story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Tune in next week!y